A Heart Full of Lies Read online

  Acknowledgements

  First and foremost I want to thank God for the constant blessings in my life. Without you I am nothing. My mom, for giving me that extra push to follow my dreams when I was so close to giving up. My best friends for reading my “practice” books when we were growing up. That encouragement stuck with me throughout this whole process. To all my family and friends who didn’t give up on me when the tough got going. For those who I’ve disappointed, but showed me unconditional love. To all my readers who are giving me a chance as a new, up and coming Author, I appreciate the support! Last but definitely not least, to my Silver Dynasty family. Mercedes G. thank you for taking me under your wing and giving me the opportunity to fulfill my dreams. SDP, you ladies are the bomb.

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my father, Russell Reed. I just want to make you proud. I love you!

  A HEART FULL OF LIES

  NIQUE LUARKS

  Chapter One: When It Hurts

  “I’m not about to play with you no more!” Erin threw the small metal wall decoration across the room like it was a baseball, aiming directly at his head.

  TreVell ducked just in time. “Man you tripping, I already told you I didn’t fuck with that girl.”

  Erin sucked her teeth, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Vell quit lyin’. You’re always trying to play on my intelligence, stop.” She started taking shirts, underwear, tank tops, and socks out the dresser drawers. “You wanna keep fucking around, and lying to me? Got people talking about me, about us?” She made her way to the walk-in closet that they shared and began snatching clothes off the hangers. “I’m not begging you to be here. You wanna live a fuckin’ single life, staying out all night and shit. DO THAT! But you’re not about to do it with or around me.”

  She went for his shoes crying hysterically. This was by far the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. TreVell had selfish ways, and yes sometimes he didn’t appreciate her, but this was the love of her life, her first everything. So why did he feel like a stranger lately? How did they get here? What happened to the happiness? Lately they argued about everything, he was rarely home and she was always crying. After long conversations with her mother and close friends, sleepless nights, and hours of contemplating, she’d decided this was the right move. And If not the right one, a smart one. For so long she’d followed her heart, it was now time to use her brain. She’d loved him, gave it her all, and it didn’t work. What else could she do? Erin knew she had to put her feelings aside and do what was best.

  TreVell interrupted her thoughts. “You want me to leave? Aight, let me get my own shit, I don’t need your help. Erin don’t touch shit else.” He glared at Erin daring her.

  She took a step back and watched him pack up his wardrobe as tears streamed down her cheeks. She hung her head as she felt herself getting angry, but she calmly asked, “Vell what happened to us?”

  TreVell ignored her question. Pulling out his cellphone and putting it to his ear, he mumbled a few words and hit end.

  Erin approached him, “Why are you ignoring me?” It was bothering her that this seemed to be tearing her apart, yet he was so at ease.

  TreVell grabbed his wardrobe brushing past her and then put the clothes that were on the bed in his bag. “I’ll come back for the rest of my shit.” He proceeded to lug all his belongings downstairs with Erin on his heels.

  “Don’t, I’ll bring it to you.”

  He shook his head as he walked on, “Do what you gotta do man. I told you I didn’t fuck her, you don’t believe me, and you want me gone? Cool I’m out, but I’m not coming back. I’m not doing the back and forth no more.”

  When they got to the bottom of the stairs she jumped in front of him. “The least you could do as a man is admit to your wrongs. For once, man up TreVell, can you do that?” When he didn’t answer she pushed him.

  He dropped his bags and snatched her up by her shirt. “Erin, don’t get fucked up. I’ve never disrespected you and put my hands on you, let’s end it on that note.” He forcefully pushed her back nearly making her fall over the large floor plant.

  Catching her balance she pushed him back with all her might, causing him to stumble backwards a little. Her blood boiling, she became enraged, “Fuck you! You don’t care about nobody but yourself. I don’t need you to be here, I got me!”

  TreVell picked his bags back up and continued out the door, putting everything in his 2015 royal blue Chevy Malibu. Closing the trunk, he went into his pockets, found his keys and started fumbling with them. Taking the house and Erin’s car keys off the chain, he handed them to her. “I’m not about to deal with this. Erin, you don’t need me aight, I’m out. But don’t call me for shit.”

  Erin kicked his car with so much power, there was a likely chance she’d put a small dent in it. “Like I said, fuck you!”

  TreVell watched her walk away with his heart beating at a rapid pace. He needed her to know that none of this was her fault; there were just some things he had to deal with as a man. He wanted her to know his decisions and mistakes weren’t a reflection of her love, it was him. But what was done was done, and if Erin wanted him gone, he would leave. He hoped she knew that meant for good this time.

  Erin laid across her best friend Sasha’s king sized bed flipping through the channels on the 60-inch flat screen television. “It’s nothing on.” She tossed the remote, falling flat on her back.

  Sasha, who was folding laundry reached for it. “I know, that’s how it usually is around this time of day.”

  Erin sighed, “That’s exactly why I’m always at work.”

  Sasha rolled her eyes knowingly, “No. You’re always at work because you want to stay busy, so you’re not alone. That’s why you’re always at work or over here.” Sasha stood to put the clothes up. “You’re just lonely, you should get a dog. Shawn and I might get you one for Christmas.”

  Erin rolled her eyes, “I’m not lonely, I got shit to take care of and I don’t need any distractions.”

  “Girl please, these last four months you’re rarely at home. I know you and trust me I get it, but it’s time to move on E.”

  Erin sat up straight and frowned. “Sasha, if you didn’t want me over here, you could’ve just said that. But don’t be calling me lonely.”

  Sasha knew Erin like the back of her hand. Close friends since the fourth grade, they were legally sisters in their eyes. She could read Erin when no one else understood and vice versa. Erin had always been the toughest out the group. She’d hardly ever shed a tear or voiced a complaint. Street smart and about her money, she’d been on her own since she was fifteen, but always managed to keep her shit together. She was mouthy with a short temper, but had a heart of gold. Her tough exterior masked her delicate interior; usually causing Erin to make bad choices based off her emotions. Erin couldn’t fool Sasha; the break up with TreVell had broken her. It had been almost five months, and every time he was brought up she’d shut down or switch the subject.

  Sasha sighed, “Now you know that’s not what I meant. You don’t have to fake for me E, I know.”

  Erin huffed knowingly, “I know what you meant. The truth hurts but I needed to hear that. I’m just still getting used to this whole single lifestyle. You have no idea how many times I wanted to go back on my word and let him back in. But every time I get close to doing it, I remember all the lies, bullshit, and fights, and I’m over it. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do it no more.”

  Sasha smiled, “I’m proud of you.”

  Erin flipped her hair playfully, “Why, thank you ma’am.”

  Sasha shook her head and laughed, “You think you hair is so cute, it’s not.”

  Erin grinned, “Whatever.”

  �
�It’s cute though, I see you.” Sasha went back to putting clothes up.

  Erin pulled her phone out. “Skyy texted me earlier saying she needed to link up. What’s up with her?”

  “Yea, I got that same text. I don’t know, I haven’t had a chance to talk to her. But you know Skyy, she’s probably in some drama, or trying to start some drama.”

  Erin laughed, “You right, that’s Skyy for you.” She continued going through her phone. “So I wasn’t going to say nothing, but you and Shawn good? Yall argument yesterday was heated. You see I hurried up, grabbed my shit and left.”

  Sasha gave Erin a defiant stare. “Girl I’m not worried about Shawn, he keeps pressuring me about this damn baby he wants. I’m not ready, and he’s acting like he can’t respect that. I’m not letting him have his way, so now he acting like a baby throwing tantrums and shit.” She sat down on the bed.

  Erin squinted. “What are you waiting on?”

  “The right time. I’m twenty-four years old. I still want to travel, see the world. Plus, I should be more independent. Shawn’s the only one working and I don’t want to feel like I need him.” She sounded irritated.

  Erin gave a confused look. “Yall can’t compromise?”

  Sasha scoffed. “Hell no, we can compromise when he puts a ring on my damn finger. I’m not about to be nobody’s baby mama.”

  Erin agreed. “Yea, it has been six years for yall.”

  “I was seventeen, and here I am, twenty-four years old, and nothing to really show from him or this relationship. Now here he is demanding a baby from me. Erin I love him and all that, but I need more from him than just a baby.”

  Erin sucked her teeth. “This house, the cars, the vacations. Bitch you don’t even have to go to work. Shawn’s a good man, give him some credit.”

  Sasha shrugged her shoulders. “Yes, he’s treating me like a wife, why not make me one? What, he doesn’t want to commit to me?” She began ranting. “I want more than just a baby, I’ve nearly put my life on hold for him, and I want a fuckin’ ring.”

  “Sash-.” Erin tried to intervene.

  Sasha cut her off. “I’m sorry Erin, but quit taking his side. What’s wrong with wanting to be married and then starting a family? I mean that is the traditional way.”

  Erin stood up. “Traditional? Girl please, you should’ve been thinking “traditional” when y’all moved in together and you gave the pussy up. I feel you on wanting a ring cause you deserve it, but don’t try to pull that “traditional” card bullshit on me.”

  Sasha played her off and began sorting clothes. “I guess.”

  Erin smirked, Sasha thought she was slick. Erin could see right through her best friend, Sasha wasn’t telling her everything. Erin knew Sasha loved, and would do anything for Shawn, so her stalling on having his child was definitely questionable.

  Sasha had always been a skeptical person. Anything she did, any decision she made, was pre-planned and well thought out before she actually did it. She’d always been calm and observant. Book smart and business savvy, Sasha dotted every “i” and crossed every “t”. She couldn’t get that off with Erin, never could. Erin knew she wasn’t ready to talk about it, but when she was she’d be right there to listen.

  Erin grabbed her purse and slipped her feet into her Nike sandals. She could sense Sasha wasn’t in the mood for company anymore and didn’t want to over stay her welcome. “I’ll call you later Sash, or if I talk to Skyy, we’ll call you on three-way.”

  Sasha poked her lips out and made a kissing noise. “Later.”

  Erin swung her hair and air kissed back. “Later babes.”

  They shared a laugh as Sasha called out after Erin. “Lock my door!”

  Not too long after Erin left, Sasha started cleaning the four bedroom home she shared with Shawn. As she cleaned, she looked back on the years and how far they’d come. They’d fell in love almost instantly. She’d met Shawn at a high school party, and they had been pretty much inseparable since. Shawn owned a dry cleaning business, thanks to his father who passed it down to him, and now had multiple stores in Missouri, Texas, Mississippi, and Georgia. So he came from money, unlike Sasha who was born and raised in the ghetto of Kansas City, Missouri. His family always questioned her motives for being with him and she’d constantly fought with his mother who felt like Sasha was using her son.

  She could recall family dinners at his parent’s house with his mother and his mother’s sisters damn near interrogating her and her background. Shawn would have arguments and even complete fall outs with them for defending her and their relationship. She was constantly being called a “gold digger” and a “user”, and it didn’t help that she didn’t work. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to work and it wasn’t because she couldn’t work, it was because Shawn insisted that she didn’t.

  But there was no motive. There was no reason or ill-intention. The connection she felt wasn’t because of his money, and it wasn’t because of what he did for her. She loved Shawn and he loved her unconditionally. Yes, he’d moved her out the hood and gave her a better life so she appreciated him, not for what he gave her, but for how he treated her. He never gave her any reason to question his loyalty so she returned the favor. They’d talked about marriage and even looked at rings, but with recent changes in their lives, Sasha didn’t even know where she fit in anymore.

  Lately Shawn was always on the go, and up until recently their love was a force to be reckoned with. The late nights and lies were getting out of hand, and she felt like she was losing her grip on him. Shawn wanted a baby, but the way things seemed to be, she knew they weren’t ready. Financially, of course they were, but mentally and emotionally, Sasha was unsure they could raise a baby together.

  Sasha finished drying the last dish when the front door lock clicked and the door opened. She braced herself for the argument she knew was sure to come, but put a fake smile on her face and welcomed him home. “Hey baby.”

  Shawn entered in with a balled up McDonalds bag and drink in his hands. “Wassup, I stopped and got something to eat.”

  She hid her obvious disappointment. “You could’ve called and told me that, I was just about to put something on the stove.”

  Shawn stared at her, “My phone was dead.”

  She glared at him, “Oh, really? You would think how busy you be, you’d keep a charger on you. I know you stopped by the office for a while; you couldn’t charge your phone there? You just bought a car charger.”

  He ignored the apparent attitude in her tone. Throwing the bag in the trash he proceeded upstairs with Sasha following close behind.

  “You could’ve answered the phone when I called, or at least called me back. You done already ate too, who were you with?” He laughed, irritating her more. “What’s funny?”

  He started undressing as they entered the room. “I’m tired Sasha, I don’t feel like arguing. I’ve been in meetings all day. After a long day of work I wanna be loved by my baby, is that ok with you?”

  She stood there watching him take off his jewelry and shirt and bit her bottom lip. She took in his 6 foot frame, muscular arms, smooth chocolate skin, and licked her lips. She figured he must’ve felt her staring at him because he stopped and looked at her.

  “What?”

  She slowly looked at him from head to toe and smiled. “Come here.”

  He grabbed the bulge in his pants. “You come here.”

  She began undressing slowly, removing everything she had on except her panties. She lifted her right breast to her lips and licked her nipple seductively, looking Shawn in his eyes. She put her left hand in her panties and began rubbing her clit in a circular motion. She threw her head back and let out a soft moan.

  Shawn’s dick grew in his pants as he watched her. He stood there and admired her petite, yet curvy 5’3” frame. Sasha was a yellow bone, with a bad ass body. She was small but her ass was phat and round and her breasts were full. Eyeballing her, he made his way to her. In one swift motion he took her h
ands out her panties and picked her up.

  Sasha kissed his face, wrapping her legs around his waist. She started kissing him hungrily. “I see you came.”

  He sat her on the dresser and pulled her panties off. “Always.”

  Sasha sucked on his bottom lip, rubbing his dick against her clit. “Look how wet you got me daddy.”

  Shawn’s hard on grew as he let out a subtle moan. “Damn.”

  Sasha began nibbling on his earlobe and whispered. “You got a condom right?” She leaned back against the dresser mirror and looked him dead in his eyes menacingly.

  Shawn laughed. “You playin’.”

  She crossed her arms defiantly. “Sasha man, don’t start this shit you always wanna fuck up a nigga vibe.”

  She pushed him from in front of her and got off the dresser. “We’re not having sex without a condom and you know why.”

  Shawn sat on the bed then reached for his boxers. “If you’re going to bring the shit up every day, then why stay with me?”

  “Shawn, how do you expect me to act or be? I’m trying to cope with this the best way I know how.” Sasha fumed.

  “So you don’t trust me no more? Why continue to be with me if you’re never going to trust me again?”

  “I didn’t say-“

  “Sasha you don’t have to “say” because you’re showing me. You said you forgave me and we could work it out and move on, but I don’t think you do. I’m not saying just forget about it, but quit bringing it up, cause if you do that we’re never going to get past it. You’re starting to piss me off.”

  Sasha slightly jerked her head back. “Piss you off?” She let out a sarcastic chuckle. “I don’t care about pissing you off, making you mad, or hurting your feelings. Because from past experience you haven’t gave a fuck about mines. You cheated on me! You lied to me! You had a baby on me!” She felt the tears building up. “You hurt me, and I’m starting to piss you off?” She shook her head in disgust and stormed to the bathroom.

  Shawn spoke calmly. “What you want me to do Sash? I can’t take any of it back. Yes I have a daughter now, but we can make this work I promise.” He felt like he was begging. “All you gotta do is trust in me, just let me show you this can work.”